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View Full Version : Where does reality end and satire begin?



anaxarchos
12-01-2009, 01:01 PM
Let us never forget just what's at stake in the war in Afghanistan: nothing less than the success of the war in Afghanistan. This war may be a mistake, a blood-soaked blunder, an unholy charnel house mindlessly consuming the bodies and souls of untold thousands, an open sore on the pockmarked face of history and an abomination before the sight of God and men, but it is first and foremost a war, and wars must be won. If the United States doesn't win this war, then will it not lose it? And if the United States loses this war, then won't the Unites States have lost it? And if the United States has lost this war, will that not then make the United States a kind of thing that loses wars? And then where would we be?

And just as America can't afford to abandon this war, surely it can't afford to abandon the Afghan people, who without the American military would be left to the savage whims of their hated enemy, the Afghan people. Indeed, it remains America's solemn duty as the leader of the free world to bring freedom and security to the Afghan people by hunting down and eliminating the Afghan people. Nor can America forget its own national security, and the dire threat posed by the Afghan people to our war against the Afghan people.

But we must also remember that the Afghans, menaced even though they are by the evil of the Afghans, are not blameless here. Have they sufficiently appreciated our efforts to kill them? No, they have not. Have they effectively and efficiently rebuilt their nation whenever we've had cause to blow it up? No, they have not. Have they become full and effective participants in the ongoing mission to kill them? No, they have not. It is long past time for the people of Afghanistan to step up their efforts to kill themselves, and not merely rely on American generosity to finish the job for them.

And so the President will be sending additional troops to Afghanistan - but a precise number of troops, carefully determined by the nation's top warologists after long months of carpet-bombing villages of laboratory mice - and they will kill Afghans there, but only for a precise period of time, calculated to be the exact interval necessary to protect our freedoms, or restore our security, or for all of us to grow bored and forget.

http://fafblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/victory-science.html

http://neveryetmelted.com/wp-images/VietnamCartoon.jpg

blindpig
12-01-2009, 01:32 PM
Tip 'o the hat to the Lobster.

Like the best of lies, the best of satire.

Two Americas
12-01-2009, 01:54 PM
Much more clearly written and persuasive than those pro-war posts people are putting up at the party sites.

This is going to be fascinating to watch the tea baggers and the liberals switch positions on this 180 degrees.

Kid of the Black Hole
12-01-2009, 06:51 PM
and they didn't get it. Somehow they missed the sarcasm and asked if the author was retarded.

I mean..the reason its brilliant is that its garishly overdone..except when you listen to Obama you realize its only slightly over-the-top.

I mean wtf..the difference between Vietnam and Afghanistan is that Afghanistan attacked us and we were the only one who ever fought in Vietnam (hellooooooo?) whereas we have (unspecified) NATO allies this time.

Oh and this gem about the Afghan government: the Afghan govt is "within the Afghan Constitution and its laws". It sounds like they had a team of lawyers draft that statement of confidence in its "legitimacy"

Two Americas
12-01-2009, 07:05 PM
That thread - you know which one I mean, the preemptive defense of what Obama is about to do - reads as satire to me.

chlamor
12-01-2009, 07:33 PM
Obama opens his mouth?

Tomorrow I'm gonna try to actually go over the transcript and count the lies. Whoa that was more than just boilerplate bullshit.

anaxarchos
12-01-2009, 07:58 PM
...not in a recession with nothing but heartburn to look forward to.

The blues is turning into choral...


Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, We all got fooled again.

I am officially done.

911, Al Queda, 911, Taliban, 911, Flight 93, 911, We didn't ask for this fight, it was brought to us, 911, President Karsi, 911.

If George Bush was giving this speech, we would all be agreeing that he was just parroting the evil Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld cabal.

What do we say now?

There is no difference between either party.

None, Nada, Zip, Zero.

Send in more of our young. Bring them home in Pine boxes. Let the Mothers cry.

Sorry Mr. President, This is exactly like Vietnam.

I feel exactly the same way that I did, 40 years ago.

I had hope. I thought I could make a change. It meant nothing. Nothing I wrote, meant nothing. I called Congress. It meant nothing. I protested in Washington. It meant nothing. Nothing.

Nothing.

It was all an illusion. Tonight I finally realize it at 54 years of age.

The Grand Illusion.

Two Americas
12-01-2009, 08:45 PM
This ain't gonna be pretty.

anaxarchos
12-01-2009, 11:07 PM
There is an Iron Chancellor trapped in that boney frame.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlkovG6yJig

chlamor
12-02-2009, 06:57 AM
is all over the place today.

Where did you find that one?

chlamor
12-02-2009, 07:00 AM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=7131530&mesg_id=7131530

Probably won't take him long to renounce his denounce.

Kid of the Black Hole
12-02-2009, 07:15 AM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=7131530&mesg_id=7131745

The only explanation I can think of is that he might be sober for once. That won't last long.

blindpig
12-02-2009, 07:21 AM
You're right, he'll either sober up or get drunk, whatever it takes.

Whodda thunk it would go like this, the fig leaf of promised withdrawal is so transparent as to be non-existent. Might be a defining moment over there.

anaxarchos
12-02-2009, 08:15 AM
... called, "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, We all got fooled again."

anaxarchos
12-02-2009, 08:19 AM
He doesn't like being marginalized like the rest of the War Party. He will put himself at the head of the mealy-mouthed opposition.

Dhalgren
12-02-2009, 09:48 AM
of peasant villages. And Emperor, Field Marshal, President, Doktor Barrack Obush is the Jolly Ol' Saint Nick who will burn those little brown people to cinders! Merry Christmas, everyone!

BitterLittleFlower
12-02-2009, 08:22 PM
Fantastic blog, thanks Anax, as a friend says daily, you just can't make this shit up...


Mark Valens at art for a change has posted a lot of LBJ poster's for comparison to Obama in "honor" of his pronouncement (fast work).

http://www.art-for-a-change.com/LBJ/LBJ_vietnam_eastern_theater.gif

anaxarchos
12-03-2009, 06:55 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7149085

The confluence of war and unemployment...

chlamor
12-03-2009, 09:03 PM
“I want to be clear: While I believe the government has a critical role in creating the conditions for economic growth, ultimately true economic recovery is only going to come from the private sector,”

Obama says he "loves the free market" and he ain't kiddin' around. And I thought Ron Paul was a libertarian whackjob.

The government does war, big business bailout, corporate slush funds and fucks the people- that is ObamaSpeak.

Things are breaking down everywhere and I have to say I'm talking to the sump pump repairman, the kids in class, the guy in the issue room, the guy filling the Pepsi machine and everyone else. Folks are ready for something drastic and who knows where it will go. But one thing is for sure the numbers of folks who completely despise all aspects of the US structure of governance is vast.

blindpig
12-04-2009, 05:55 AM
I do see a danger that in absence of an articulate, worker based left that a fascist right populism might fill the void. Of course, I am where I is.